last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they're like a gay fantastic four
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
