Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
