my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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