Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
