just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
