3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
