The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
