Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
