we have pet lesbian snakes
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize