i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
