I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Oh god it's open bar.
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