Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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