Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
