I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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