Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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