is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize