are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize