I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
