Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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