My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Buhtt sex?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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