is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
