I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
