i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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