On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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