ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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