No more Irish car bombs ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
