you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
