I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
