so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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