If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
