Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
