Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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