Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
