It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
