girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
