Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
