Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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