Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
