Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
