Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
