just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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