From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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