thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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