You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
