I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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