he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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