you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
vagina is talking i cant
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
