I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Randomize
