Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
