So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
